“If I had had confidence to do what I really wanted, I would have spoken utterly alone, come what may.”1
I first went seriously looking for wisdom in philosophy books a couple of years ago, when I’d begun wondering what had gone so wrong with, my PhD subject, Utopianism’s moral high ground late in the 19th century, that had led it into the disasters of the Fascist and Marxist-Leninist versions of Utopia so soon after. Which is all by the by now, as my interest in the viability or otherwise of Utopia as an idea with any kind of a future was already well on the wane by then. Soon after to be abandoned altogether.
But what has stayed with me is an abiding interest in philosophy. So that in between novels I’ll often try out whatever might be the latest philosophy book I’ve found on my wanderings. This latest of my discoveries being the best so far. Because? Well it’s deliberately popular rather than academic. Manages to get from Ancient Greece to almost Modern Times in a never once boring 250 pages. And concerns itself with things that got me interested, like good stories, interesting characters and subjects such as not having enough money, why it’s ok not to be happy all the time, and how to cope with a broken heart. Then there’s that magnificent quote from 16th century French philosopher Michel de Montaigne:
“If I had had confidence to do what I really wanted, I would have spoken utterly alone, come what may.”
Which he says at the end of his own long volume of a lifetime’s work, where he’s mostly done what academics then and now mostly do. Which is to quote from the works of others who have gone before them, at the expense of themselves. Montaigne’s point being that, actually, the wisdom of any one of us might be the equal of any of those ancient sages, if only we each of us had the confidence to say it and write it down.
So that’s why I’m writing this and all of these blog posts. Yes, as a continuing celebration of having escaped from utopia and academia myself, a year gone now. But also because I think I have things to say, being the only one who’s living my life, just like you’re the only one who’s living your’s. We all have things worth saying, I believe, so long as we have the confidence as well as the courage to speak “utterly alone, come what may.” In my case with just that one quote.
Mind you, I nearly wept as well as laughed when I first read the quote in this lovely book. It would have come in so useful for me in that university a couple of years ago.
I’d probably have left even sooner than I did!
Michel de Montaigne, quoted by Alain de Botton, page 164 of “The Consolations of Philosophy” Penguin Books, 2000
This post really spoke to me Ronnie. As always, thought provoking. I’ve bought the book now!
This struck a chord with me also, one of the latest pieces I wrote, one of the comments underneath said that I had no authority to write it, which I thought was strange as it was a piece about my lived experience. We might not have much authority these days, over anything, but we definitely have dominion over the way we move through our life. Well, most of the time! Write from the heart and no one can argue.